


Kiss Me

by nomisupernova



Series: DaveKat Music Fics 2018 [11]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Awkward Dates, Bad Cooking, Boys Kissing, Canon Compliant, Davekat Week 2018, First Dates, Fluff, Forehead Kisses, Gentle Kissing, M/M, Meteorstuck, Rachel Ray and Alton Brown are Homestuck canon, Siblings Bonding Through Being Bad Cooks, Trans Dave Strider, just fuck me up fam: Kiss Edition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 18:32:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15802212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nomisupernova/pseuds/nomisupernova
Summary: "I love you, man. Does there gotta be a special reason?" You shrug and sit yourself down across from him. Luckily, you had the brains about you to get your plates ready ahead of time. And you were nice enough to give him the slightly less... er... crispy pieces of bread. Yeah, crispy... that's the word you're using now. A lot better sounding than “artfully blackened.”An adorable first-(lip) kiss, first date fic written live for the Karkat Thirst server in celebration of Davekat Week 2018!





	Kiss Me

**Author's Note:**

> This fic takes its name from the song _Kiss Me_ by Sixpence None The Richer which you can listen to [here.](https://open.spotify.com/track/754kgU5rWscRTfvlsuEwFp?si=tbgjl06BSM-1AyjoDm_W9w)

_ There's nothing like a first date.  _

You swear to fuckin' god you've heard Rose say that exact thing once. Not that she would know anything about that since her useless lesbian self hasn't so much as kissed Kanaya on the fuckin’ cheek but whatever. You are, at the very least, vaguely aware that first dates are a special thing. They're something to be treasured and something to be remembered, they leave a real mark on you. So of course, you want to make your first one with Karkat extra special. You want him to remember it for the rest of his life, hopefully. 

You just pray to god that the reason for that is because it's a  _ good _ date and not because it's so bad that he'll never forgive you for being horrible at this thing. It’s not like you’ve really had a lot of chances for an actual real life date, unless you count hanging out on LOFAF with Jade. And honestly, as much as you would  _ love _ to do that, you know that in your right mind that you can’t.

You spend a week reading up on dates; what to do on them, what to bring, how to dress, what to say. You know, the usual things that normal human beings should already know but is another one of those things you were just sort of  _ expected _ to know. Or maybe you weren’t, who knows? It’s not like you can even… Whatever, you're not-- you're not getting into this right now, not in the safety of your own thoughts.  _ Anyway _ . After the first week of reading, you started inviting yourself on more of Karkat's movie sessions and started paying more attention to the date scenes. He didn’t seem to mind the attentive company either and you didn’t mind being there to hang out with him. If anything, it just really solidified that you really want to take this romantic dork on a nice date.

From what you can tell, there's usually the dude picking up the girl, taking her out for dinner, they go dancing and then they... take a walk at night and kiss? Or at least that's what you're gathering from the small selection of movie's Karkat watches with you around. Well all of that sounds pretty doable, at least the dinner and walking your date home parts do. The most you can do about that is walking him back to his room though but you think that’s close enough for it to count in your book. Dinner is going to be... hmm... a little tough, but you're sure you can work something out with the alchemiter and a  _ lot _ of patience. Shouldn't be all that hard to make something like spaghetti and bread with something nice to drink, like fruit juice or something like that.

Well, at least it  _ seemed _ doable at the time until you realized you  _ may _ be biting off more than you can chew. It doesn't help that Rose has decided to use the alchemiter at the same time as you so you always gotta argue with her over who gets to use it first, like a couple of actual real-life siblings fighting over who gets to use the remote first.  _ No, sister of mine, I wanna watch cartoons, fuck your telenovellas. I want to watch Spongebob until I piss my pants _ . Or some shit like that.

This metaphor has gotten away from you… eww. Anyway. Rose… you’re in front of Rose.

"So  _ David..." _ she sneers at you from beneath a swath of pillowy soft silks of all different patterns and textures. "You'd like to use the alchemiter when it is, in fact, my turn? And why is that if I may be oh so inclined to ask? You've been doing nothing but alchemizing noodles and fucking them up by combining them with perfectly good knitting needles. Honestly, it’s such a shame that you’re defiling those needles like that. The least you could do is give them to Kanaya."

You roll your eyes, silently thankful that the blush dancing at your cheeks is currently being concealed by the massive lenses of your sunglasses. "Nunya, dude. Just...  _ ugh, _ just show me how to remove the damn metal from the recipe and I'll fuck off again." 

"Are you..." Rose gasps dramatically and your eyes roll again. Shit's rollin' so much you could use it to power a third world country on nothing but eyeroll energy. They'd be set for life if they hooked you up and kept Rose's mouth running at all times near you. Hah.  _ Nice... _ wait-- shit.  _ Rose. _

"What?"

"Oh I'm sorry, was my question so  _ bold _ that you were utterly speechless or were you thinking of more 'sick burns' to use on me in your brain-space again?" She fluffs her strawberry-kissed hair back behind her shoulder, it reminds you that the two of you need to annoy Kanaya again for haircuts. Yours is getting disgustingly long and you’re not really a fan of keeping it long. It makes you feel so weirdly dysphoric and you’re  _ not _ a fan of that.

"Uh... I..." You stutter out, she caught you again and that's... kinda lame.

"You're such an  _ airhead  _ sometimes, I swear to fuck, Dave. I  **said** are you planning a date with Karkat or something? Because if you need pasta noodles for that, all you had to do was ask me, as you should know well enough by now that I’m prepared for just about anything. I have a card for it in my sylladex." She grins, black lips curling up into a smug smile. "But you'll have to trade  _ me  _ something I need for it."

"Like what." You deadpan, putting your hand on your hip and shifting your weight from your right foot to your left with the movement. 

"Oh you'll know. I can't tell you yet, but I'll give you the card you need if you promise to give me what I want when I need it. Deal?" She sticks a short stubby liquid-black painted fingernail at your face, "And  _ don't _ lose the card. That's all." She straightens her hand and you reluctantly take it, shaking it firmly in your own long slender hands.

"Glad we worked it out, homie. Now the card? I got shit t'do an' places t'be if you feel me."

"Yes, yes. You need to go get your 'mack on' with Karkat." She shuffles through her sylladex and withdraws the card, placing it in your waiting palm. "Make it a good kiss, he's going to remember it forever. There's nothing like a first date, Dave."

You take the card from her and roll your eyes once more for good measure. There’s people in some countries that need that energy so you gotta keep that shit coming. You head over and slot it into the alchemiter. After a few button presses and some stupid game logic that has absolutely no reason to keep working outside of the session, you have yourself a box of pasta noodles. Which is great because you've already got bread and sauce alchemized, which took a  _ regretfully _ long ten days to figure out. 

Who knew that something as simple as shitty nondescript pasta sauce would be so hard to figure out? Well, now you do! And it doesn’t help that you needed garlic, butter, and salt too. But at least those things were a little easier. Really, you should’ve just made the whole thing from scratch but you’re… honestly not that skilled. So you’ll stick with sprucing it up Strider-style. You gather the noodles and the card, stowing them away in your sylladex for later use (because you can never be too sure if you'll need the card again and you don't trust yourself not to drop the noodles and shatter all of them like a complete dumbass.)

You turn around to thank Rose again only to find that she's walked out when you weren’t looking in typical Lalondian style. Sweep into the room, hog all of the attention, and fuck off before anyone has time to complain. You strain your ears and hear the sound of her slippered feet padding down the hallway. Not that you really  _ need _ to strain them that hard, sound echoes like crazy here and you could hear her coming from halfway across the meteor. You don’t even know how slippers can be so loud, but hey, Rose makes it happen so you’re just living with it.

You think for a moment that you'll go after her and say thanks but you hear Kanaya's voice chattering away softly at her and decide that you'll just leave them be. Kanaya looks at Rose like she hung the very stars in the sky and Rose sees her like the sun with which she should orbit around. And no, it's not just because Kanaya literally glows like one either.

Either way, you can't spend all night chasing after Rose, as funny as it would be to annoy her. You've got bigger fish to fry. Or well... you've got noodles to boil and bread to bake, at least. Hey, cooking is kind of hard but you've got it figured out… Sorta. That is if watching Rose has taught you anything. And the very few cooking shows you managed to catch on TV when you were a kid. Rachel Ray would never lie to you.

* * *

 

Well, the noodles got burnt  _ seven _ times (one you even literally had them  **on fire** ), the bread is only black on the bottoms (which you  _ artfully _ scraped off with a knife), and you managed to spill just under half of the first jar of sauce on the floor. But you ended up finishing dinner and making it look decent enough to sit in front of Karkat at the dinner table you set up with one of the nicer silks you "borrowed" from Kanaya's sylladex. It could be worse....  _ (it can always be so much worse oh god you're ruining everything, jesus fuck.) _

Karkat struts into the room just in time and you watch the look on his face shift from it's usual resting bitch face into something a little more sincere and gentle. It’s usually a look you see on his face when he's really happy and relaxed after a pale-sesh with Kanaya. (You always  _ did _ mean to ask what he does during them but then again, they're not really your business so you just leave it be. Besides, who are you to question happiness?)

"What the fuck is all of this?" He asks, hands gesturing broadly in the direction of the dinner table. "Is Rose cooking again? It smells like someone set fire to a starchy grubsnake and then topped it with blackened grubloaf." He waves his hand in the air to fan away at the scent.

You grit your teeth, silently embarrassed of your fucking  _ horrendous _ cooking skills and you  **pray** that Karkat doesn't notice how burnt everything is. "I uh- I made you dinner, babe."

"...oh..." You watch him as he considers this for a moment, all five feet and three inches of him seem to sigh in a mixture of surrender and relief. "Well alright, let's eat then. Hopefully this doesn’t fucking kill me. If I die, give everything I own to Kanaya. At least she won’t make a fucking mess of my shit and hide it all over the meteor like Vriska and Terezi would. And I don’t need their fucking nasty touchstubs all over my limited edition Thresh Prince posters."

Your feet feel like they're cemented to the floor and it takes you a moment to find the purchase to move them. What kind of lame boyfriend would you be if you just let him sit without pulling out the fuckin' chair for him? Not one you'd wanna date, that's for fuckin' sure. You grab the metal back of the chair, cringing a little at the sound it makes as the legs of it scratch against the tiled floor. Karkat smiles tenderly at you, rolling his eyes a little, but he nods and you take it as a soft "Thanks" without words.

Nice. Okay, you can ease up enough now that you know he doesn't hate this. 

"What's the occasion? Who died?" He asks, raising a thick eyebrow as he does so. Boys' got his eyebrows up so often that they should just marry his hairline at this point. They're practically life partners at this point and there ain't no reason he should keep a love like that separate. It's hella illegal to keep two soulmates apart like that.

"I love you, man. Does there gotta be a special reason?" You shrug and sit yourself down across from him. Luckily, you had the brains about you to get your plates ready ahead of time.  _ And _ you were nice enough to give him the slightly less... er...  _ crispy _ pieces of bread. Yeah, crispy... that's the word you're using now. A lot better sounding than “artfully blackened.”

"Mhmm. You're  _ not _ getting in my pants." He grabs a fork and twirls some spaghetti onto it, scooping it into his mouth. He slurps them down and his eyebrows meet their fated lover again. "Shit,  _ you _ made this? What the fuck?"

_ You fucked up. You fucked up. You fucked up. _ "It's bad, huh?"

"What-- no, it's fucking  _ good. _ I didn't know you could actually fucking cook something that wouldn’t taste like something the lusus dragged in on a dark perigee's night. I _ thought _ you would be as bad as your... as Rose at this."

You sigh in pure relief. Thank  _ god _ all eight of those boxes of noodles were worth it. "Hell to the nah, dude. I've got mad skills. Shit be poppin' like the zits on a teenager with OCD's face. Pop pop pop." You punctuate that last sentence with finger guns and Karkat squints at you.

"I don't know what any of that means but if you're smiling like  _ that _ when you say it? It's got to be the dumbest pile of festering hoofbeast shit to come out of your mouth since I regretfully met you." He laughs when he says it, which is your indicator that he's actually enjoying it. You silently hope he won't notice the bread at least. It was too hard to keep replicating with the small amount of time you had so you only had two baguettes to work from.

He plucks the bread from the side of the woefully nondescript plate. The alchemizer can make things but it always prints them looking plain as hell if you don't combine it with something that already has a pattern on it. Something tells you that Karkat wouldn’t appreciate Time symbols or a record pattern on his plates when he already sees that shit enough from you wearing it. Besides, it was either that or the Light symbol from Rose's ugly sun sari. Even with that, it had the chance of making the plates bright ass yellow and you weren't taking chances with that shit.

He inspects the bread for a moment and you wipe your damp palms on the table cloth. (Sorry Kanaya… you’re just  _ really fucking _ nervous about this shit.) Karkat crinkles his nose at it but he takes a bite anyway, his hairline gives a deep smooch to it's long awaited lover and you smile. It's nice to see them getting along like that. "How the  _ fuck _ did you manage to make this shit taste good? Who the fuck--  _ how?" _

You really don't know why it's so good, it... might be the garlic butter you brushed on the top of it? You swear you saw it on a cooking show once. It was either your goddess Rachel Ray or the trickster god himself, Alton Brown. You’ll have to pour one out for the homies sometime ‘cuz you got mad respect for ‘em. Your face splits into a grin, "I dunno dude, I was just doing-- uh... my usual."

"That just means you have no idea and you want to take credit for it anyway, right?"

"How are you just gonna call me out like that, Karkat? So fuckin' rude."

"Nobody said I had to be nice to you, fucker."

"Yeah but you don't gotta be a smart ass chumpstick about it either."

"Pay for my silence."

"That's fine, but I only pay in the form of physical affection and screaming constantly about how much everythin' fuckin' sucks."

"We take  _ real _ payments here, nookwiff."

"Oh? I'm sorry, but is this..." You lean across the table, splaying a hand out on the silken cloth to support your weight (not that you need to) and press your lips against his forehead, "not a valid method of payment?"

"Then pay up or put up, you nubsucking, squakblister running, grubloaf baking,  _ joke-making  _ son of a bitch." He grabs the fringed collar of your cape and pulls you down farther and presses his lips against yours. You have the forethought to float slightly so you don't fall down into your food like a massive dumbass. The  _ last _ thing you want to do is make a mess and have Karkat laugh at you. As funny as that would be, you’re trying to impress him and make him kiss you more, not cackle in your face.

Your hands come up to cup his face and you tilt his face higher, your feet lift farther from the ground with the movement. His right hand comes around to run its fingers through your hair. You swear to god you melt into a fucking puddle because his touch is so feather-light and soft. You didn’t know liquid could float like this until today, but here you are, a jelly-boned son of a bitch. And hey, jelly is  _ almost _ a liquid so it counts here.

He pulls back to breathe and presses his lips to your forehead again, once more for good measure you think. "Stop floating and finish your dinner, fuck face. It's fucking rude to float in front of the one dude who can't fly."

"I know you can’t fly, dude. Obviously, I would just carry you or something."

"I'd rather fucking die."

"I sincerely doubt that, Karkat." You kiss the top of his head and settle back down into your chair and finish up your dinner with him. He slurps his noodles loudly and you laugh when he somehow gets a slice of bread stuck on his horn. How the fuck did he even manage to  _ miss his face so badly  _ that it ended up on his horn? And they’re so nubby that you never imagined that they could skewer a baguette so badly.

After you're all done, you even clean up his plates for him. Look at you, the shining example of a real gentleman! You're the best there is, truly. You even-- shit,  _ walk him to his room _ and he  _ kisses you again. _

“I-- uh, had fun tonight.” You start lamely and immediately regret opening your fucking mouth.

“Well just don’t make a habit of burning the grubloaf so badly and we’ll be squared right the fuck away, Dave.” You open your mouth to rebuke and he stops you. “Shhh! BUT! I had fun too. We should… do that again sometime. But let  _ me _ cook next time? You’re so fucking horrible at it but somehow, I don’t fucking  _ understand how, _ but you managed to make even that burnt bullshit taste good. You can be my assistant.”

“Yeah--- fuck, shit. Of course, dude.”

“Now go the fuck to sleep. Good night.” He leans in to press a kiss to your cheek again and you smile at him as he closes the door. 

You let out a sigh of relief and lean against the wall, sliding down until you land flat on your ass on the floor.  _ Thank fuck. _ It went well, nobody died (except those seven boxes of pasta, may they rest in peace.) A better date you couldn't have asked for. And hey, you don't really know what you were so nervous about, first dates leave an impression but they sure don't gotta be a bad one. As long as you’re making a good effort and you do your best to keep your date happy, they can all be good, even if you’re a shitty cook.

After all, there's nothing like a first date.

 

**Author's Note:**

> [Join my server, Karkat Thirst! I live-write fics there! (16+)](https://discord.gg/g5hq6Th)


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